(I write because it gives peace. Satire writing is a challenging task. A lot of time goes into perfecting it. I just wont publish it if I am not convinced about the content. Nevertheless, Faking News started the trend of satire reports and here is my small contribution to world of satire reports.)
Continuing it's contribution to the number of jobless Liberal Arts courses, Delhi University today added another course at Masters level- MA (Personal Relationships) under the newly formed Department of Psycho-Philosophy. DU's Vice-Chancellor-Ranchod Jathar, himself a three time divorcee, believes that this course is in lines with university's continuing ambitions to contribute to societal needs without giving a damn to any industry. "We think that there was a need for such a course. The youth is already aware of so many issues these days..Thanks to shows like Satyamev Jayate. However, once the youth step into the their work life, they totally suck in their relationships. Our one of its kind 2 year course offers solutions to prevent failure in relationships. We are confident that people from all age group would love to be a part of this course," he added.
At present, there are 80 seats (Gen-40, Non-Gen-40). The mode of selection will be an online admission test conducted by Brometric over a period of 20 days. The admission test syllabus will comprise of a test of Sexual Orientation, Linguistics and Communication. The raw scores of all the slots will then be converted into standardized scores adjusted for the time period that candidates have/have not spent in their relationship- a part of the selection process which is rather incomprehensible to the candidates till date. The shortlisted candidates will then interview the Department Panel and predict how happy they are in different forms of relationship. The raw scores obtained here will then again be converted to standardized scores based on t-distribution. Department of Statistics will provide its assistance in conducting such a complex yet fool-proof procedure.
The inaugural address of the course will be given by the Tiger Woods- an expert in subject matter of Infidel Sciences. The University officials are trying to rope in Shane Warne and N. D. Tiwari to teach the subject- Modern Promiscuity Techniques and Methods- a rather very important subject given the importance of extra-marital affairs. Rakhi Sawant is offered to teach Swayamvar Economics. However Veena Malik has also shown expression of interest in teaching the same subject whereas the Department has offered her to teach Economics behind Disappearance. Bill Clinton, Swami Nityanand and Rahul Mahajan are others who have been offered guest faculty positions.
However, the educationists have questioned the efficacy of a course which has no Bachelors or even a Certificate course backing itself. Also, there have been rumors about the course being run in partnership with IIPM. If true, then the critics of IIPM may have to accept IIPM at par with DU failing to which they will be forcefully exposed to full page ads in every form of print media. If the plans work out then there are indications that the IIM-A,B,C will hire Prof Arindham Chaudhari to teach Marketing and Branding Strategy. But, wouldn't such move affect the brand - IIPM? Prof Chaudhary remained unavailable for any comments.
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