(No matter how much we hate politics, we have to accept it as a part of our lives. I see politics as one of the means of getting things done. In a society, politics is how most of the common goals are met. But, there is a major difference between the Politics to gain power in society and the Politics to gain power in office. I would say the former is more fair as the candidates know each others strategy- Thanks to media. The latter form has all the communications blocked and hence its a difficult world to comprehend.
In this slice of life satire, I try to put across some ways to cope up the antics of an Office Politician.)
1. Act but do not be dumb: While with your office peers, not only behave as if u know nothing but also prove that u know nothing. The Politician chap only targets those whom he thinks are a threat to his growth. The moment he believes a person is dumb, he would only focus on those who are genuinely dumber than what you initially made him believe. Do not believe me?
Remember visually challenged Javed Jafri in Singh Is Kinng? In the whole movie, he acted as a dumb-blind chap so that eventually he can get the King's throne. His tomfoolery never got noticed and he nearly succeeded unless of course Anees Bazmee decided otherwise. Never underestimate the power of dumbness. Hot girls use their dumbness to unimaginable proportions to achieve their goals.
2. Make friends with a hot girls: The hot chicks in the team apparently knows the most and making friends with them can reap rich dividends. How? Read #1 again
But, what if the hot girl herself is a politician? Read further and discover how to beat her.
3. Get the whole team on Social Networking site(s): Words speak louder than frustrated faces. In every team there will always be someone who never vents out in front of the boss or team mates. He only rants through a social media and considers himself to be an office celebrity. This person not only writes well but also sets the records straight for rest of his team mates. Get this person on board and shoot from his shoulder-whoever you want. Still doubt the idea? Recall the Tharoor-Modi twitter drama.
4. Create hue-and-cry over the politician's mistakes in presence of Supervisor: Tried and tested. Needs no explanation. If you still want more explanation, then please wait and watch till you become a victim yourself.
5. Plan your mistakes : #4 works only in short run because as the time passes the politician chap will adjust their expectations and they won't let themselves be a part of your demented plot! Let me offer an alternative plan.
First make mistakes which you can defend. And, when the politician chap escalates your mistake, point out the defense to your boss. This way our politician chap falls prey to its own shitty plan. This is how also the theory of Karma works. What goes around, comes around.
6. To Contradict is to Contribute: In team meetings, it is expected that our Politician chap will contribute the most gassy stuff. Learn to contradict his points. It may even lead to a team split wide open over issues that nobody earlier cared about. Then you may kick-start your own gang against Mr Politician. Also, never let there be issues between the Politician chap and the boss because then Mr Politician won't contribute and meetings will be utterly boring.
7. Avoid my first 6 points: Yes, I just said that. What I am going to tell you now is genuinely Foolproof. Do not bother about the office politics. There's life beyond office politics. We all have a choice to quit when a better opportunity knocks our door. Wait for that to happen. But, till then stay up beat and do well. Hard work doesn't remain unrewarded for long.
